Eliot is an Idiot

Do you know what this is?

Well, I didn't know what it was. That doesn't prove I'm an idiot.

I had just walked into the offices of Proclaim Promotions in Concord, and I figured these little gizmos were some promotional item - something for visitors to play with while they waited. That round thingy and the sets of plastic tabs were just hanging out on the counter, right?

So, I picked up one (see above image) and thought, "Cool - a toy!." Or did I think "Groovy - a toy?" or "Sweet - a toy?"

So I touched one of the metal disks (so nicely glued to the colorful tabs) to the top or the doohicky. I jumped when the big ugly thing started beeping (well, it had been pretty until it started beeping, which coincided with its descent into uglitude). I think that proves I'm an idiot: Why did I stupidly assume that these attractive playthings were toys, and not, say, part of a nuclear deterrent system? My nuclears were deterred, that's for sure!

Obviously the beeping and mechanical hoo-hah stopped, or I wouldn't be alive today to write this.

It turns out that by touching the red tab to Metallic Circle I was clocking some employee out - these playthings are actually a 22nd century time clock! Who knew?

The eight-foot-tall security guard came running, "Who did you clock in our out??"

(Right, like I'm going to say, "Don't you mean 'whom'?"

"Sorry, I'm just a photographer."

"Well, clock that person back in, or back out. Just undo whatever you did, idiot."

Okay, I made the eight-foot-tall person up. It was just the nice woman working behind the counter, and she was very nice about it, and she did NOT call me an idiot, at least not that I could hear.

By the way, Bill, the owner of Proclaim Promotions, and the owner of those things on the counter, is a really nice guy. The happy, relaxed employees show that Bill has created a good workplace.